Ok, we all know that pearls add lustre to your skin. This isn't just an old wives' tale about lustre-osmosis. It's scientific empiricism that a good set of pearls can spread whatever light there is in this country up and out on to your neck and face. Which is what you're attempting to do with those £300 radiate 'n' glow creams.

Other pearl pluses: they're classy, although sometimes the ones in Claire's Accessories slip under the class barrier. Then again, sometimes the ones in Claire's Accessories are just great because they don't take themselves too seriously and so, by extension, when you're wearing them nor do you, unless, of course, you are taking them seriously. See how subtle this whole age-related business is?

Even the classy ones - a four-strand choker that belonged to Queen Mary, say - aren't necessarily the right ones. On a conventional girl, they'd add 30 years. Serious pearls could look a little de trop too, unless they're on Sarah Jessica Parker, who has been making pearls look like a fabulous fashion moment.

A tiny strand of pearls or some pearl stud earrings could look adorable on a stylish 16-year-old, in an ironic, quirky kind of way. For the rest of us, to avoid that freeze-dried effect, it's best to stay away from anything too trad. Cheap, peeling settings aren't the solution, either. But some gorgeous, high-quality fakes - used on their own or worked into other materials, from Lanvin (Harrods 020-7730 1234), Tom Binns (www.tombinnsdesign.com) or Erikson Beamon (020-7259 0202) could well be. Pricy, but you're worth it.

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