These are, undoubtedly, troubled times. But often a climate of anxiety and tension can give birth to moments of spectacular creativity, solving in a flash some of the problems that have taxed man’s progress through the ages. Such as, for example, the whole business of room service.

Why is it always so awful? It takes forever, the food’s practically stone cold and, thanks to the stupid silver domes they hide your meal under, whatever you’ve ordered is usually dripping in condensation. Is it really that hard to get a burger in a lift without drowning it?

A grave problem, you’ll agree, and one recently addressed by the good people of the Plaza on the River Club and Residence, which, according to its website, is London’s most exclusive all-suite luxury residence hotel, and which has just gained a five-star rating from the AA.

Theirs is the idea of allowing guests – sorry, residents – to phone down to reception and order not a burger, but a chef. And, if you fancy, a butler. The man in the white hat will prepare a meal from the in-room dining menu and the man in the white gloves will hand it to you. Meanwhile, you lounge about, watching the telly or gawping at Big Ben and the London Eye from your elevated position on the banks of the Thames.

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Scarred from one too many soggy burgers, I thought this a claim worth investigating, so I took a firm hold of Lisa, my girlfriend, and off we went.

“Make yourself at home, your chef will be along shortly,” said the chap who opened the door to my new gaff. Will do, I thought. So, what do I do at home? Exactly. The minibar was well furnished, so, newly restored with a large gin, I waited for my “staff”. There are 66 suites in the Plaza, with the presidential one taking up the whole of the 11th floor. We didn’t take it. We went for a one-bedroom job instead, with kitchenette, bathroom and lounge-cum-dining area.

The menu we had chosen was one of three offered, and we had been swayed by the herb-crusted rack of lamb with dauphinoise potatoes, vegetables and port-wine essence. Though, when our chef, a burly Irishman named Shane Maguire, arrived wheeling a trolley, my heart sank a little. Not at the sight of him, but of the trolley.

The kitchenette included a sink and two hobs. There was not going to be a lot of top-class cooking done on that, at least not enough to feed me (with a bit left over for Lisa). The trolley was the answer – the bulk of the food was prepared downstairs in the kitchen, transported in the trolley (with its own warming oven) and finished off up here. In some of the larger suites, where the kitchen is a decent size, a pair of chefs spend up to two hours preparing a meal for up to 12 guests, from start to indigestion. Those in the one-bedders get the trolley.

Now, does that class as cooking in your room? By the letter of the law, probably not, but who cares about the law when the proof of the pudding is ... well, coming up just after the lamb.

In fact, the whole thing worked rather well. Sauces, soups and service were all done in front of our eyes, accompanied by an amusing stream of patter from Chef. Kevin Spacey is a regular, apparently – his Old Vic theatre is just down the road – and Amy Winehouse wrecked a room here recently, much to the delight of the waiting paparazzi, who she was convinced were tipped off by the hotel. Certainly not, said Maguire. Staff sign a confidentiality agreement, so they would never tell anyone about ... oh.

Your chef nips off after serving each course, leaving you alone to pour your own wine, which we managed admirably. We had sushi and a pumpkin broth as a warm-up, then a starter of oak-smoked salmon with a pink peppercorn glaze, then that lamb, which was perfectly, beautifully moist (which is different to soggy). Then a light mango mousse with basil ice cream, followed by chocolates and coffee and more wine; then a short stagger to bed.

This isn’t room service. This is sweet suite service. And it may just be the answer to that taxing problem.

- Studio suites start at £225, with in-room dining from £55pp; 020 7769 2525, www.plazaontheriver.co.uk

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